It has been half a year since I've last written. Lots have happened, many unfinished chapters in my life have finally made it's mark. Since I've many days to reflect still, I'll start with my return back to Vancouver.
I was extremely excited to go back to Vancouver to start a new chapter of my life. The chapter where I don't have to worry about waking up early for exams or missing an organic chemistry class. Full of ambition and hope, I settled into Kiera's place and started putting my resume together. It was weird not going 'home' as soon as I got back, but Kiera's place was the next closest thing to home in Vancouver. I was happy that mom and dad offered me a place to say, or else I was going to have a bigger headache than I could have imagined. So once all the resume and cover letters were written, I started job hunting. Boy, did that ever sucked ass. Kate referred me to her company and I had high hopes for that, but of course, nothing comes easy. It was a swing and a miss. I continued searching and went to a couple of career fairs in hopes to find a real job. Half a month went by, then a month went by. I was getting extremely anxious and sad. Looking at all my friends around me and observing their lives, I felt like I have failed myself. Everyone had something going on, except me. I was by myself, didn't have a job, had no clue about my next step, and did not want to go back to school. I felt lonelier as each day passes by, felt more unaccomplished, felt like a failure. Even though I know that life is hard and jobs aren't easy to find since the economy has crashed. However, that definitely wasn't what I was witnessing amongst my friends. I heard about the lay-offs, the increase amount of people going back to school, and etc... however, since I didn't see it first hand with anyone close to me, the whole economy crashing meant nothing. Because I didn't want to give up on Vancouver, I started looking at other options. Then it led me back to something that had always comforted me: Tarot.
I went to see my friend, my guide, and my reader, Rhiannon, hoping to find answers. I felt more at ease after a couple of hours at her place, chatting and mapping out on what is to happen. Here were some things that were said.
1) I will have a couple of job opportunities... two mainly, one doesn't pay very much to start but has unlimited potential/growth for me, the other one pays a lot more but doesn't have the same amount of potential/growth
2) The jobs will come after I meet someone. This someone is someone that is already in my life in one way or another. It seems that we are very compatible, we'll get along really well and things will be good. It should be a very successful relationship, doesn't seem to be 'the one' but will be a lot better than the ones in the past.
I left our little appointment/meeting with hope and doubts. She never usually gives me very descriptive details about a person, yet I left with one today. I didn't want it to influence my visions or what not since I was still thinking about whats-his-face. Except whats-his-face didn't fit that description. So, I relaxed, started to enjoy the days of unemployment and waiting to hear back on various job opportunities. With hopes that things will soon change... I wasn't worried about relationships since I did not want one, I was not looking for one. I wanted a career, I wanted a focus that is going to be for me and myself only. Men weren't my concerns, I was used to being single and on my on, it wasn't what I needed. I just didn't want a relationship and I couldn't even remember when it was the last time that I felt that way. All I knew was, I wanted a job, a career, and a future, not a guy. Life was good with friends and I have finally simplified and was super proud of that. I have become even more independent and the thought of Justin getting married no longer haunts me. I was a woman going towards my mid-twenties with ambition and independence.
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