Pick up lines

So I've put together a list of my fav pick up lines... this will be used when Gooch and I hit the bar... of course, he'll be the one to use it seeing I dont have a penis! Thank god I have a lot of make up to help him cover up those hand prints in the mornings! BAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you

OH MY GOD, are you ok? Are you sure? I think you should go to the hospital... but you fell... I saw you fall from heaven........ angel!!! (then you give a wink as you say angel)

Are you tired? tired of what? Cause you've been running through my mind all day

Do you believe in love at first sight? or should I walk past again

You look familiar, come on! how do I know you ahhh that's right - you were in my dreams

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes

Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.

Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.

You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesnt have your # in it


Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT! (HIGH FIVE FOR THAT ONE!)

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in

Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?

Hey, how 'bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU.

If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes

You're so hot, you denature my proteins

Can I be the phasor to your electron and take you to an excited state?

Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body

You are the photon to my photosystem: you excite my electron until I reach my reaction centre

Hey, are you an alpha carbon, because you look susceptible to backside attack


How about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?

If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar

Can I be your enzyme? because my active site is dying for a chemical reaction.


I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.

How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the 7 digits of your phone number?


I wish I was your second derivative so I could investigate your concavities.

You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum

I wish i was your problem set, because then i'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk

Wanna expand my polynomial?

My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I'm falling for you.


(Hold out a stethoscope) Why don't you listen to your heart and go out with me? ---> YOU HAVE TO USE THIS

I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.


I am an organ donor, need anything?